Between exclusively pumping and everything else that comes with having a newborn, I am EXHAUSTED and like I said, not really “feeling it”. If he doesn’t meet you on your terms, he isn’t respecting your agency or desires and that bespeaks a bigger problem with the overall relationship. This probably sounds a little weird to you as a woman because most women have responsive desire (I’ll get to this in a few paragraphs). Laughter can be a great way to bond, but if you want to make him horny, it can get in the way of your goal. Take the time to figure out what feels good and what allows you to stay connected and in your fantasies and pleasure while also giving you the experience you’re wanting,” wrote Kahn.

Everyone at the table knew what this girl was doing except the mighty king who was still lost in his thoughts.It feels like I’m constantly taking care of everyone around me, and I hate that I’m not enjoying sex as mutual but something I do to take care of my hubby. Bro, I’m recovering from an intervention c-section as well, and that would be the last thing on my got damn mind ���� you just got a major surgery and pumping non stop (same), AND caring for a newborn baby. Your husband will appreciate the effort you’re putting in but it’s even more sexy that you’re not doing it for him, you’re doing it for you. Acknowledge verbally what needs he is meeting for you and gently express what needs you’d like him to give more intentionality to meeting. But if you want to spice things up, be the one to step outside of your comfort zone and make the move.

Sean is the editor of Bad Girls Bible and responsible for recruiting our team of sex and relationship experts. Think back to how you might touch someone when you were flirting with them and trying to get their attention, then touch your husband in some of the same ways. It’s okay to lower your voice to a sexy whisper (but one that he can hear) and to take things slowly.Remind him that while you have a schedule for sex, you’d prefer to be a bit looser with affection because that is where you’re at. I know I’m not the only person who has trouble getting from plain horniness to climax, but none of the advice I’ve heard seems useful to my situation.