They’d rather not let their minds go there, almost as if not thinking about it might just stop the worst from happening. There’s far too much ‘I’m not going to say anything, because I don’t want to make that person feel sad, or that person feel awkward. I read as a friend and also a nurse to peer into this world to better understand a situation not my own, to be more insightful and equipped to care for a loved friend in this painful landscape. There was a particular moment and I can still think about it so clearly: I was sitting up in bed, about a week or two after Teddy died, and I could hear people walking to work.

Not a book I’d recommend reading shortly after your baby dies (oops, I have now learnt this lesson). I have read lots of books from well-known authors on child loss, but this is most certainly the one that has spoken to me the most. There were some very relatable parts but although the author repeatedly refers to everyone grieving differently, much of the content is also quite sneering/judgmental of those who do grieve differently to her, despite her having to go through much of what she judges in others to get to the place where she can be what she views as unendingly positive (I’d query this).Elle, Nico, Teddy and Boris' journey has given me strength and everybody should take the time to read this book. It may have been her no nonsense approach to writing the book or maybe her ability to make me cry at some points and smile at others either way i fell in love.

Ultimately this is a personal story and others who lose a child will perhaps deal with their experiences in a different way so this isn’t a ‘How to deal with grief’ book. And it just blows my mind that people were that archaic about it, that they didn’t know to even say anything. Yes, I cried reading this book – it’s impossible not to feel emotional when following a mother’s account of losing her child, but it’s also layered with Elle’s trademark humour. I hope to God that I never have to use what if learnt in this book either for myself or someone close to me. Not just people who have necessarily been affected by the loss of a child themselves, or a friend, or a family member, or a work colleague; but people who very well might be at some stage.The happiest day of Elle's life had turned into every parent's worst nightmare, and she had to let her beautiful baby boy go. I have followed Elle for a while on Instagram and love her blog and her day to day post about general things. When I found myself experiencing a motherhood that I never expected, one that I was terrified of living, I didn't know how I would carry on being 'normal'. Because I feel like we’re at a place in life if someone says to you ‘Oh I’ve been diagnosed with cancer’ there would have been a point in time where there would be a death sentence hanging over their head and we wouldn’t say anything.